"Your Happily Ever After" by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I have decided to post this talk given by Elder Uchtdorf because it has always been one that has stuck out to me. In this talk he talks about achieving our own "Happily Ever After" which comes through marriage. I hope you enjoy this talk as much as I have. This talk is provided on LDS.org and is now a book that you can by as well. I won't be putting all of it on here but I highly suggest that you read the whole thing because it is all so good!

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"Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all-eternal life-and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own "happily ever after."

.... In most languages there exists a phrase as magical and full of promise as perhaps any in the world. That phrase is "Once upon a time."

Aren't those wonderful words to begin a start? "Once upon a time" promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words "And they lived happily ever after."

Isn't that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories; to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?

.... In your Young Women Personal Progress book, you will find these words: "You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose."

...His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of "once upon a time," complete with you own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. ... Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all- eternal life- and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own "happily ever after."

But such blessing does not come without a price. It is not given simply because you desire it. It comes only through understanding who you are and what you must become in order to be worthy of such a gift. 

Trial is Part of the Journey

For a moment, think back about your favorite fairy tale... You will find one thing all have in common: they must overcome adversity. 

... In each of the stories, Cinderella, Belle, and the miller's daughter have to experience sadness and trial before they can reach their "happily ever after." Think about it. Has there ever been a person who did not have to go through his or her own dark valley of temptation, trial, and sorrow?

... The scriptures tell us there must be opposition in all things, for without it we could not discern the sweet from the bitter.

... Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that come in no other way, Our loving Heavenly Father has sent us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy. 

... It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop. 

...If you ever feel your burden is too great to bear, lift you heart to your Heavenly Father, and He will uphold and bless you. He says to you, as He said to Joseph Smith, "Your adversity and your afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if you endure it well, God shall exalt you on high."

Enduring adversity is not the only thing you must do to experience a happy life. Let me repeat: how you react to adversity and temptation is a critical factor in whether or not you arrive at you own "happily ever after."

The Gospel is the Way to Happily Ever After

... "Happily ever after" is not something found only in fairy tales. You can have it! It is available for you! But you must follow you Heavenly Father's map. 

Sisters, please embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ! Learn to love your Heavenly Father with all your heart, might, and mind. Fill you souls with virtue, and love goodness. Always strive to bring out the best in yourself and others. 

... As an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, I leave you my blessing and give you a promise that as you accept and live the values and principles of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, "you will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessing of exaltation." And the day will come when you turn the final pages of you own glorious story; there you will read and experience the fulfillment of those blessed and wonderful words: "And they lived happily ever after."Of this I testify in the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

"LDS Family Services: Assistance For Unwed Parents and Prospective Adoptive Parents" by Kenneth W. Matheson (Chapter 15)

"Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

Most of us know individuals who have had children out of wedlock.  In 2003, there were approximately 1.4 million children born to unmarried women in the United States, which accounted for 1/3 of the total births (US Department of Health and Human Services, 2005).  That figure has continued to rise; in 2007, 40% of children were born to unmarried women.  (McLanahan, Garfinkel, Mincy, & Donahue, 2010).  

One Option:  Abortion.  Abortion of the unborn child may seem to be an option that will erase any pending problems that unmarried parents anticipate.  However, the proclamation "affirms the sanctity of life and its importance in God's eternal plan" (The Family:  A Proclamation To The World).  Elder Russell M. Nelson offered the following counsel:  "When a life is created by sinful behavior, the best way to begin personal repentance is to preserve the life of that child.  To add another serious sin to a serious sin already committed only compounds the grief.  Adoption is a wonderful alternative to abortion.  Both the baby and the adoptive parents can be greatly blessed by the adoption of that baby into a home where the child will be lovingly nurtured and where the blessings of the gospel will be available (Abortion: An Assault On The Defenseless, Ensign October 2008).  

Another Option:  Keeping and rearing the baby.  A pregnant woman may decide to keep and rear her child; few mothers today place their babies for adoption, and abortion rates are declining.  

LDS Family Services and Adoption

LDS Church leaders provide the following counsel:  "When a man and woman conceive a child outside of marriage, every effort should be made to encourage them to marry.  When the probability of a successful marriage is unlikely due to age or other circumstances, the unmarried parents should be counseled to work with LDS Family Services to place the child for adoption, providing an opportunity for the baby to be sealed to temple-worthy parents.  Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses both the birth parents and the child in this life and in eternity  (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Handbook 2: Administering The Church 2010).

Eventhough there are many excellent adoption agencies, and, in states where private adoptions are legal, there are also other individuals (often doctors or lawyers) who are able to assist a birth mother or father and potential adoptive parents, LDSFS is prepared to assist the individual or couple regardless of their decision; the agency doesn't help only those who choose adoption.  LDSFS staff can provide valuable resources and support during the decision-making process.

LDS Family Services and Prospective Adoptive Parents

One study reported that there are about 2 million couples in the U.S. wanting to adopt a child.  Furthermore, many of these couples would want two or three children, if they were available.  Many will take hard-to-place children with special needs (Bachrach, London, & Maza 1991).  Throughout the adoption process, adoptive parents will experience a variety of emotions, just as the birth parents do.  Couples who discover they cannot have biological children may be in shock; they can't understand how such a thing could happen to them and know they would be great parents.  Some may believe that God is punishing them or that they will conceive if only they exercise sufficient faith.  They may also feel anger, or intense sadness, to the point of mourning the loss of their fertility.  One or both may feel they are responsible for the infertility and its effects on their spouses life.  Although infertile couples may be happy for others who are experiencing pregnancy and childbirth, they also may have difficulty watching others receive blessings they do not enjoy.  Despite other blessings and happiness in their lives, the yearning to be a parent remains unfulfilled.  Sometimes after considerable investments of time, money, emotions, and appointments with specialists and clinics, a couple may reach the point of accepting infertility as part of God's plan for them.  They may then be ready to start thinking about adoption.  Some infertile couples may feel that seeking to adopt is giving up.  They may fear that they will not be able to love an adopted child as much as their own, although from my experience as a social worker, for the large majority of adoptive couples this is not a problem.  The restored gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us who our children are.  President Gordon B. Hinckley said: "Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones.  Now, love them, take care of them....rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, take care of your little ones....welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts" (Excerpts from recent addresses of Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign July 1997).  Whether parents conceive and bear children or adopt them, these little ones are the Lord's children first.  We are asked by Heavenly Father to be stewards over the children who come to us.  In this light and by the power of temple ordinances, adopted children sealed to their parents in the temple are their children as much as if they had conceived them.

("LDS Family Services: Assistance For Unwed Parents and Prospective Adoptive Parents" by Kenneth W. Matheson, Chapter 15)